2009年8月31日 星期一

A JOKE ?

A butcher watching over his shop is really surprised when he sees a dog coming inside the shop. He shoos him away. But later, the dog is back again. So, he goes over to the dog and notices it has a note in its mouth.

有個肉販看到有隻狗走進他的鋪子裡吃了一驚,肉販把狗噓走,可是沒多久這隻狗又跑回來,所以他探頭看了一下這條狗才發現狗嘴裡有張小紙條。

He takes the note and it reads "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please? The dog has money in its mouth, as well."

他拿起紙條,紙條上寫著"麻煩給我12條香腸和一條羊腿,錢就放在狗嘴裡"

The butcher looks inside and, lo and behold, there is a ten dollar note there. So he takes the money and puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, placing it in the dog's mouth. The butcher is so impressed, and since it's about closing time, he decides to shut the shop and follow the dog.

肉販低頭看了一下,哇!還真的有十塊錢耶!所以他收了錢,把香腸和羊腿放入袋子裡以後再放到狗嘴裡。肉販對這隻狗實在太訝異了,想想又剛好快打烊了,他就決定收攤然後跟著這條狗看看。

So off he goes. The dog is walking down the street, when it comes to a level crossing; the dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the button. Then it waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to turn. They do, and it walks across the road, with the butcher following him all the way.

他們沿著路走,來到十字路口的時候這條狗就把袋子放下,跳起來按了行人通行鈕,再叼起袋子耐心地等綠燈亮起,再行通過這個路口,當然肉販還是緊緊跟著它。

The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the timetable. The butcher is in awe as the dog stops a bus by pulling its left leg up and gets in it. The butcher follows the dog into the bus. The dog then shows a ticket which is tied to its belt to the bus conductor.. The butcher is nearly fainting at this sight, so are the other passengers in the bus. The dog then sits near the driver's seat looking outside. As soon as the stop is in sight, the dog stands and wags its tail to inform the conductor. Then, without waiting for the bus to stop completely, it jumps out of the bus and runs to a house very close to the stop.

接下來這條狗來到公車站,開始盯著時刻表瞧。肉販很震驚這條狗居然懂得舉起左腳來攔車,然後搭上了這台公車!肉販跟著上了車,狗把綁在項圈上的車票秀給車 掌看,看到這一幕,肉販就像其他的乘客一樣簡直要暈倒了。狗狗接著坐在司機旁邊看著窗外,當下一個站牌出現,它就站起來跑去車掌那兒搖尾巴示意他要下車 了,不等公車完全停妥,它就迫不及待地跳出公車往一間離站牌不遠的房子奔去。

It opens the big Iron Gate and rushes inside towards the door. As it approaches the wooden door, the dog suddenly changes its mind and heads towards the garden. It goes to the window, and beats its head against it several times, walks back, jumps off, and waits at the door. The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts abusing the dog, kicking him and punching him, and swearing at him.. The butcher surprised with this, runs up, and stops the guy.
它打開了院子的大鐵門,衝向房門,當它接近那道木門的時候忽然改變主意往花園跑去,它朝向窗戶走去然後用頭去撞它好幾次,然後再跑回房門前等候。肉販看到一著彪形大漢開了門,然後開始凌虐這條狗!他打它、踢它、還大聲咒罵它!肉販實在不能忍受這種事,就跑去阻止這傢伙!

"What in heaven's name are you doing? The dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for the life of me! "To which the guy responds: "You call this clever? This is the second time this week that this stupid dog's forgotten his key."

"你它馬的在幹什麼!?這是一條天才狗耶!我用我的性命擔保它絕對可以上電視!"
這男人就回答肉販:"你說它聰明?這是這條笨狗第二次忘了帶鑰匙!"


Moral of the story.....
You may continue to exceed onlookers expectations but shall always fall short of the boss' expectations.
It's a dog's life after all.....

這個故事告訴我們.....
不管你再怎麼拼命,老闆都不會滿足的!
這就是做為一條狗的宿命....

2009年8月17日 星期一

名詞解釋

Disease是指影響身體機能的非正常情況,即我們通常說的疾病。Medical condition也常用來指疾病。在英文中,廣義上Disease也包括外傷(injury)、殘疾(disability)、紊亂(disorder)、綜合症(syndrome)、感染(infection)以及非正常行為(deviant behavior)等。非正常情況主要與symptoms和signs有關。

Symptom是指病人自己主觀感覺到的不正常情況。它可以是慢性的(chronic)、復發的(relapsing)或者緩解的(remitting)。它可以惡化(worsen)或者逐步改善(become better或者convalesce)。疾病可以是有症狀的(symptomatic)或者是無症狀的(asymptomatic)。Constitutional或者general症狀是影響全身的,而不是僅僅影響某個器官或者部位。患者主述稱為chief complaint、presenting symptom或者 presenting complaint,它指病人看病的原因。而最終導致診斷(diagnosis)的症狀稱為主要症狀(cardinal symptom)。Sign是醫生或者其他人觀察到的某種事實或者特徵。Medical sign是醫生在體檢 (physical examination)過程中發現的某種醫學事實或者特徵。當然也可能醫生與病人都注意到了某種狀況,那麼它可以既是symptom也是sign。比如,疼痛(pain)只能是symptom,因為醫生無法感受到病人的疼痛。而血細胞數量值只能是sign,因為病人無法感知。不能混淆sign和indication,後者是使用某種治療方法的根據,在中文中似乎也翻譯為症狀。對臨床症狀的解釋是症狀學(semiotics)。醫生的檢查檢驗通常稱為test。

Healthy是指身體、精神及社會活動方面都健全,而illness指所有無法達到這一標準的狀況。Illness也叫ill-health或者ail。Health care指通過醫療、護理及相關職業來預防、治療和管理疾病並確保身心健康。在當今社會,patient的同義詞是health consumer或者health care consumer;它往往是政府機構、保險公司和患者團體的用語。急診狀況是medical emergency,而急診部門是emergency department或者emergency ward。Drug是食物和器械之外的任何影響生物體機能的化學物質。它除了治療疾病,還能改變行為或者改變精神狀態以帶來愉悅。Medications通常是醫藥公司的具有專利的產品。不受專利權保護的藥品是generic drugs。

Medicine的含義是通過檢查、診斷和治療來維持和恢復患者的健康,通常翻譯為醫學。它也有藥品的含義。廣義上,它包括任何醫學專業,但是在醫學界,medicine(不需要手術)和surgery(需要手術)構成兩大專業。Medical doctor、 medical practitioner或者physician是醫生的統稱,需要註冊並持有執照。而其中medical practitioner是最容易理解、最中性的字眼。它包括了專科醫生(medical specialist)和一般醫生(general practitioner),如家庭 醫生。歷史上它曾包括內科醫生(physician)、外科醫生(surgeon)以及藥師(pharmacist)。單獨用doctor指的醫生可能與其他學科的‘博士’相混淆;doctor在拉丁文中是‘老師’的意思。doctor of medicine或者medical doctor是醫生的準確名稱。

在北美,physician的含義和doctor of medicine一樣。但在北美以外,它主要被翻譯為‘內科醫生’,與外科醫生相對。這是該詞的傳統含義,主要強調通過使用藥物而不是通過手術來治療病人。在美國,與這個意義對應的同義詞是internist。但無論在歐洲還是北美,physician and surgeon都是一個對醫生的尊稱,無論何種專業領域。美國和加拿大的醫學委員會(medical board)都用這兩種詞彙來指稱任何醫生。護理人員(nurse practitioner)不能稱為physician。臨床醫師是clinician。 Resident physician或者resident是住院醫生。也叫做house officer。他們必須從經過認證的醫學院畢業並獲得相應的學位。第一年的住院醫生也叫intern,即實習生。實習期或者實習身份叫internship。他在一個合格的physician指導下在醫院(hospital)或者診所(clinic)從事醫生的工作。在這個階段完成之後,他也可能有一個fellowship時期,專門研究某個細分的醫學領域。在大多數國家,住院醫生階段(residency)通常是成為合格醫生所必須經過的過程。通過了這個階段的醫生叫 attending physician、attending或者consultant。

Charlatan是達不到標準,只為了獲得利潤而行醫的人【版主註:怪醫黑傑克應該就是這種吧!】。古羅馬人有個詞叫archiater。所謂的宮廷醫生(court physician),比較接近中文‘太醫’的含義,診斷並治療後,或者診斷後不治療就離開的患者叫outpatient(門診患者),而住院治療的患者叫inpatient。入院叫to be admitted。

醫院稱為hospital,通常提供住院治療;診所稱為clinic,通常只接受門診患者,比醫院規模小。Hospital和hotel同源;而clinic和incline同源,因為病人歷史上是斜躺在床上接受治療的。注意,在使用hospital這個單詞時,美國和其他英語國家不一樣,通常需要一個冠詞。如,in the hospital;但在英國及其他國家,in hospital。